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     I have never been so tired in my life.  I just thought I was tired during all the preparation before school started.  The first week of school sort of freaked me out, but we got settled as we all got to know each other.  Then the personalities started coming out.  And the reading curriculum kicked in.  And I had to generate my own lesson plans that are more specific than anything I have ever had to produce before.  And my Pre-K resource teacher (aka Supervisor) starting dropping in for "observation."  I have started getting to school a half-hour earlier to set up my books and CDs and other lesson resources because as soon as I pick the little darlings up from breakfast I am on task until they are down for nap.  I don't stop talking, walking, snapping, physically and verbally redirecting, high-fiving, smiling, frowning, playing, counting, writing, saying yes, saying no, saying no again, hugging, saying stop, pointing, opening milk cartons, yelling stop, opening juice cartons, screaming stop and silently asking God to deliver me for six and a half hours straight.  And other than Circle Time and Story Time I do not sit down.  You should see my ankles and knees.  They are retaining more water than Lake Okeechobee.

    I will acknowledge right now that I realize I should not be complaining.  Millions of people work harder than I do for more hours per day for less money.  But this is my blog and I reserve the right to whine as I work through my paradigm shift in the midst of physical and mental exhaustion.  I also realize that these are four-year-olds and I should not expect them to have "gotten it" in six short weeks.  

     My tireless cheerleaders and generous donors have kept me going and added new dimensions for Center Time.  This week a friend donated a couple of Bratz styling heads for the girls to do in lieu of the ever-popular Dramatic Play center.  I expected Asly and Alia to be all over them so I was surprised when cousins Jamarion and Aaron laid claim to them.  Those boys did some hair!

     The girls simply cannot be distracted from the fancy dresses and babies.  They are such a hoot!  I allow boys in the kitchen and baby area frequently and my little girls now give them the devil about how babies do not go in the refrigerator!  They drive me up a wall at times, but when they get all dressed up and are clearly having a ball it is hard to get upset with them.

     This is what makes me crazy.  The boys.  There are fourteen of them.  And they all seem to think the Circle Time rug is a football field.  I know.  It doesn't look like a circle so why should they have Circle Time on a square?  It does look more like a football field.  Or even a wrestling ring.  I cannot help that....this is the rug They sent to me.  We have to sit in our square (or quadrado if you please) and participate in direct reading instruction for ten minutes before we do something else.  It's a Rule.  I make it as pleasant as possible.

    This morning my supervisor came in to do some individual student testing.  She was able to observe the rest of the activities going on while doing so...she is an incredibly organized and professional woman who Does Not Play.  I proceeded through the morning and lunchtime as always and then to the playground where she followed the class to observe some more.  I was sweating bullets by then.  She went with us through the hallway for potty time and then back to class for toothbrush time and nap time.  (We have lots of times in our short daily schedule.)  She then helped with a couple of my more stubborn fellows as they could not seem to settle down and nap, finally putting one in my office and one in the storage room, standing between both areas and watching like the hawk checking out our chickens.  While standing there she told me that I have a very bright and challenging group.  She praised what I have been doing so far and offered really helpful suggestions for changes I can make to ease some of the stress.

     I have not ever been trained to teach primary students nor did I get to intern or even observe before I was given a class and a set of expectations.  I have a curriculum, a lesson plan template, a classroom full of manipulatives and centers, a stack of assessments and twenty kids who need to learn how to function in and as a group.  I have three pages of items my principal will need to check off when I get my Big Fat Annual Evaluation.  (They ought to rename that assessment tool "Reasons We Should Continue to Pay This Person.")  And I have a whole book of things my Pre-K supervisor will be looking for in me and my classroom as well as my students each month.  Each month. Yikes.  Is it any wonder I feel stressed and am doing homework every night so I can teach four-year-olds?

     Anyway, it felt good to receive positive feedback after several weeks of feeling like I am not getting anywhere.  I am someone who appreciates criticism when it is constructive.  I listened to everything the lady said to me today and it was all positive. She applauded my efforts and the hard work of my paraprofessional, who, by the way, is a gift from God and a testament to good up-bringing.  She works her fanny off.  Tomorrow we will implement some of the things we learned and observed today and expect positive change.  But tonight I am going to do my homework and hit the hay early.  La maestra es pooped!