All my life I've been told that my people have good genes so we age well. While this doesn't seem to apply to everybody in the family tree, most of our old folks are pretty well-pickled. (I just love how Southern folks describe things!) In fact, some of the most beautiful people I know are in their latter years. Sure, they are wrinkly, but their eyes have a twinkle in them, their skin seems to glow from the inside and their smiles are omnipresent. They are alive, mostly well and fairly happy well into their nineties.
I recently celebrated my 44th birthday. First thing that morning, I received a message from a friend saying, "Happy birthday, old lady! Don't ya hate how these things keep coming around?" Well, no. I actually look forward to these milestones. I got to thinking on all this and the fact that I am likely about halfway through my expected life span and then a brief panic set in...there is so much I have left to do! I've made some drastic changes in my lifestyle over the past couple of years in an effort to reduce stress and get healthier physically and emotionally. In doing so, I've learned a number of lessons that might just get me to my centennial.
1. Every day that I wake up and all my moving parts work is a good one! I woke up one morning and had an arm and mouth that just wouldn't cooperate due to a mild stroke. I have been blessed with almost complete recovery and subsequently see so many small things that are not to be taken for granted. I have so much to be grateful for...even on bad days. It is sad to me that some people only say "Life is good" when things are going their way and they have everything they want in that particular moment. Look around and appreciate what you have in the way of health, family, friends, work and home. We may not have the exact life we dreamed of or even planned for, but we are right where we belong and have many blessings to count when we stop and consider what a blessing is and how many are right in front of us. Life is always good!
2. I am solely responsible for me. All my problems, successes, failures, debts and rewards have a common denominator...me. No one but me has signed the checks, written the lesson plans, taken on challenges, eaten the brownies and walked away from stress-makers. I determine who I allow to control my situations, how I manage my finances, how messy I allow my home to get and how hard I push myself to succeed in work and exercise. No matter what excuse I manage to make for any of it, it all boils down to me and choices I make. It has taken me a long time to be able to write this fact down because I had surrounded myself with excuses and had convinced myself that other people or factors in my life were determining the most basic aspects of success and happiness for me.
3. Eat. Those gals who sit and watch others consume as they "save the calories" are usually miserable and lose the same five pounds over and over again. I've had to get re-educated about food over the last five months and can easily determine good calories from bad. I know I have to eat throughout the the day, consuming more protein than carbohydrates and avoid as much sugar as possible. This keeps me from noshing on everything I see and my head is less foggy. Hormones, exhaustion and temptation sometimes contribute to bad choices on my part, but I don't beat myself up over them. Like Scarlet says, "tomorrow is another day."
4. Exercise and stay hydrated. I choose to walk a couple miles a day and and do strength training as often as possible. I currently have a serious ankle injury and am limited on the walking and must make the choice to substitute the strength training or bicycle. No excuses...here is that responsibility thing again! But I see that if I don't exercise, I get really moody. And when I get even a little dehydrated I get loopy and lightheaded. The stress relief of a long walk or a session on the Total Gym is amazing...and addictive! Also, managing my weight and fitness now will greatly reduce my chances of another stroke in the future. That alone is a powerful motivator.
5. Speak up. Stand up for yourself. Nothing about a break-up or past job experience feels worse than reflecting on it later and thinking, "I wish I'd said something earlier" or, "I can't believe I put up with that for so long." I'm not saying to complain about everything, but if you are being stifled, oppressed, put down or mistreated in any way, it is a lot better to deal with it in the present than regret inaction later. I have been in an abusive relationship and have let an unfulfilled relationship go on far too long before I took action. As adults, we are models for young people and when they see us tolerating injustice, they think that it is okay and may accept that in their own lives. I have encountered some situations at work where I have had to make a case for what I felt was right. It would have been easier to let it go rather than be labelled confrontational or a whiner, but some things just have to be taken on.
6. Happiness cannot be bought, bartered for or given to us. It is neither inherited nor will-able. It cannot be stalked, hunted down, trapped and held captive by anyone. Happiness is generated inside of us. It is the side-effect of a life well-lived. A life well-lived is one full of compassion, selflessness, faith, generosity and kindness regardless of the trials and tribulations experienced throughout. In other words, it is not all about me. In some ways it is not about me at all. I can honestly say that I have experienced the most pure joy when I have contributed positively to the lives of others. Milestones in the lives of my children and my preschool students have brought me to tears many times. Recognizing greatness when I am in the company of amazing people is another heart-stopper for me. I have been so blessed to work with or study under some incredible souls....and that includes Sunday School teachers!
